BP Spills Coffee...

Windows Should Die a Slow, Painful Death

Many of you know that I am a Mac user. I heart Macs! Unfortunately, there are still a few essential programs that only work with windows (shall we call it Big Irritating Turd Computer Hog or BITCH for short). I needed to download one of these necessary non-Mac programs this morning to take care of a client's request. Poo! Hmmm...I know! I can run a BITCH environment on my Mac!

Downloading BITCH (after paying $80) was not difficult. Activating it was a bit complicated...I had to go onto the third-party website and search my account. Then, BITCH needed a program activation key. That's OK! My husband uses BITCH on his PCs (he has 2). After interrupting his porn viewing to write down the 3,452 character key code, I typed it into the form...IT'S INVALID! OK, not a problem. I'll write down the other key code. INVALID! After banging my head against the wall a few times, I remembered my old PC that's sitting in my office, waiting for me to take a hammer to it (I am totally not kidding about this). WOW! This product key worked!

Miraculously, the program installed successfully and I was able to download the program I needed fairly easily. I did my thang and then went to print it. BITCH can't find the printer, even though I see the damn cord plugged into the computer and into the printer. Oh, right! BITCH needs a printer driver! (I'm so accustomed to the ease of the Mac, I rant and rave to no one in particular about how high maintenance BITCH is)

On the printer's website, I find the driver pretty quickly. I download it, unzip it and run it. I go back to the control panel hopefully. BITCH still can't find my printer! Arrrrrgh!!! Fine! I'll do it all manually! Of course, the model of my printer is not in the list BITCH provides, so I select a random model...and it works. Holy Mary Mother of God!! I look up at the clock. 2 hours have passed and all I have done is print one document. That's why BITCH must die a slow, painful death - much like the slow, painful hoop-jumping I have just spent my entire afternoon doing.

I'm calling the massage place.

PTSDuh

My poor little blog is hanging in there. I haven't abandoned all hope just yet for it.

Saturday, we had an alarmingly strong storm pass through. It blew down tree limbs and street signs and even a couple of fences. That's all well and good - I mean, we really need the rain here. But I. freaked. out.

The power went out around 8pm, right in the middle of my viewing of Meet the Fockers. Inconvenient, yes - but not as annoying as having the electricity blow in the middle of a theater movie, which is what happened to my friends! They got real rain checks! Anyway, we were a bit put out and all, but it was nice and cool in the house and we figured the lights would be back on momentarily.

9:00...no power. 10:00, nothing. At 11:00 we decided to just go to sleep, but something weird started happening to me. Waves of panic and nausea pounded and crested over my mind and body. I started having flashbacks of the hurricane. I started hyperventilating and then finally determined that I should probably go sleep over at my "sister's" house since she still had power.

Yes, I have post-traumatic stress from Hurricane Ike. It is the weirdest and most awful thing I have ever experienced. If you have anything like this from any trauma in your life, you have my greatest sympathies.

Technical Difficulties

Technology: it's part of our lives whether we like it or not. This week I like it...and don't.

After suavely dropping my cell phone in the toilet on Wednesday, I went to the cell phone store to get a replacement. The old one wasn't breathing and damn if I would be giving it mouth-to-mouth! Actually, I'm not all that upset because 1) it lived a long time, even after being dropped on the pavement multiple times; and 2) I wanted a slider phone with a full keyboard anyway. Of course it wasn't official upgrade time so I took it in the rear price-wise. But hey - this is my work phone (and I can write it off)!

In other tech news, I finally gave in and went to C*mcast (a.k.a. RetardedRipoffMutherfuckers) to get a DVR for our bedroom. I am tired of fighting Punkin for storage space on that thing. For some reason, Wizards of Hannah Montana takes up 3 times the room as House. So I got the thing home, wrestled with the cables for a while and got it all set up. I anti-climaxed as I turned it on and got the "blue screen of death." After calling "tech support" (a.k.a. the back room in an Indian deli), the "customer service representative" told me that a "technician" would be coming to my house today between 2-5pm (a.k.a. never, you stupid ass! Sit at home and wait for us! HAHAHAHAHAHA!).

It is 7:36 and nary a "technician" has been found. The "customer service representative" that I spoke to this time said that the service call was "cancelled because the customer was not home." Huh? I must have dreamed that Shane and I made sure that one of us was home all afternoon. So, our next imaginary appointment is Monday between 2-5. Makes me rethink if we really need cable...for a minute.

Day 3 With No Cable or Internet...

I feel so cut off...

Comcast sucks.

What a Day!

I am so not used to having Punkin gone! At work, I found myself hurriedly packing up so as to get home ASAP to watch a movie with her. At home, I think I hear, "Hey, mom?" all the time. I walk in the door with only the dogs to greet me. Don't get me wrong - it is nice not having her here in my face all the time, but I find myself missing her more than I expected.

My assistant had a really bad day today. Yes, I said assistant. I have one and I love her. I would almost give up food in order to keep paying her salary. Anyhoo, she took my car in to get the oil changed (a 30-minute job, tops). Apparently some jackhole at the garage knocked a hose loose and then wondered why the car would only run for 30 seconds at a time. After many an overlooking, the manager finally spied the problem and gave me a free fuel injector cleaning. Sweeeet. But, my assistant was gone 2 1/2 hours instead of 30 minutes. Then, after much dropping of things and banging of elbows, the piece de resistance - she lost my credit card.

She walked in the door crying. I thought her mother had died. No, she assured me, mom is fine. I...*sniff*...lost...*sob*...your CREDIT CARD! Then she flinched as if I were going to punch her. What a sweet kid. So, a quick phone call to the bank fixed it so no one could steal my identity in that particular moment, and the bank assured me a new one would be on its way in the morning. 

After reassuring the assistant that I was not going to fire her, and yes - I had actually done the same thing once, twice, a few times, I sent her home to hopefully get under the covers and not do another thing until the sun rises tomorrow.

Need Support

I know I haven't posted in a while...I have been dealing with a confusing personal issue that I am just now coming to terms with.

We're pregnant.

I thought it wasn't possible. We had such a hard time conceiving Punkin. The last thing in the world I want to be is pregnant. I wake up in cold sweats every morning imagining how horrible it will be...up all night...probably postpartum depression again.

We haven't told a soul, so this is my way of just telling everyone all at once. If you have any words of wisdom or comfort, I welcome them all. If you want, take a look at the sonogram.

Houston, We Have a Goat

Ahhh, technology! Somehow, someone hijacked one of the email addresses I use for P@yPal, so now I can't receive payments. I think I have fixed it by rearranging stuff in my account, but how weird is that? I don't suspect foul play because the person who messed up my account basically linked their information to mine, so I know exactly who it is. Maybe a change in password is due, though I have no idea how this person could have figured out mine.

In other news, our new dog is really a goat. I have no other explanation for this "dog's" eating habits! He'll eat just about anything that is left on the floor, including paper, pens, markers, barrettes, crayons (one of his favorites), pencils, bluetooth ear pieces (I was particularly thrilled with that one), lettuce, tomatoes, plastic toys, stuffed animals, books and candy. There's more, but you get the picture.

My life is now complete.

One of Those Days

As a rule, I try not to post negative or whiny things here on Life Outside the Box. But rules are made to be broken and my therapist is out of the country. So if you're looking for sunshine and roses today, move on.

But as I sit here, mentally listing my grievances, I realize that they are really not that big of a deal. Nothing that can't be handled eventually. And as the self-proclaimed Self-Care Guru, I need to bestow wisdom on myself and just walk away from all of this. If there's one thing I know for sure, it's that everything will still be here tomorrow.

I've Fallen and I Can't Get Up

I know I have been a bit remiss about posting. Things have been...interesting. On Labor Day, I spent a couple of hours at the urgent care center. I had bent over to pick up my shoes and apparently sprained my back. After we were done in the ER, we went out to the car only to find a dead battery!

I am feeling a lot better now - still sore but not as much difficulty with things like moving. It was the weirdest feeling to be "stuck" in one positon. And not a very comfortable one, either.

The Axe Has Fallen

After reading several negative entries about Comcast on Eric's blog, I was less than thrilled to hear that they were taking over our cable company, Time-Warner, who already left much to be desired. Today, I decided to watch something using Video On Demand. The quality was so poor that I have no idea what the movie was even about. It presented like a DVD with huge gouges in it...skips, freezes, etc.

So, I called Comcast to report the problem, hoping to fix it, or get my money back at the very least. After getting disconnected twice after navigating lengthy call trees, I decided to try the Internet approach. I have currently been "next in line" for live customer support chat for about 15 minutes. Reminds me of a certain Friends episode.

Cable companies are like mechanics and college bookstores - they have you by the family jewels. I could complain, but all that would happen is that I would feel a little better for a short period of time. I wouldn't expect anything to actually improve. I could cancel my service and get the dish, I suppose. But then I'd never be able to watch TV in weather like we are having today. Maybe I should just give up TV.

I sure would miss the Discovery Channel. I'm still waiting on my autographed picture of Mike Rowe.

You Have the Wrong Number

I experienced a new level of frustration this morning. My cell phone kept ringing and when I answered I heard a fax machine. Now, let's look at some facts:

First of all, many people put their documents on the fax, dial, and walk away, expecting everything to work fine. So when they get my voice mail, no one is there to say, "Oops, I better check the number!" Secondly, every time the fax calls me, it costs me at least 1 minute if not more.

Put those together and you have repeated useless cell phone calls eating up too many minutes to consider sane.

What do you do? I answered and said in a loud voice, "This is not a fax machine!" hoping that someone was listening. No dice.

Has anyone had this happen before? Can you call the cellular company and get the minutes taken off? Am I making too much of this in the first place?

Psychic or Psycho?

I hope everyone had a good weekend. We went to visit my dad and had a really nice time. I think I had a bit of a pre-cognition today, but it sounds so lame talking about it after the fact.

We were driving through a neighborhood that takes us out to the highway, and I thought, "I hope I don't get a flat." There was no reason to think that - I hadn't run over anything or noticed that my tire was low. I just chalked it up to one of those rogue thoughts that pop in there, like "I wonder what would happen if I swerved off the road right now?"

Anyway, you can probably guess what happened on the highway: we got a flat. Not a blow-out, but a flat. And thank God Shane was with me to change the tire. I mean, I really can change a tire, but we would probably still be there on the side of the road because I couldn't get the lug nuts off. Both times I have gotten a flat tire while driving have been on the highway. Go figure.

So what do you think? Pre-cognition or rogue thought? Have you had any similar experiences that you thought about after the fact?

revamped for my amusement

i had a little fun with the blogger beta page element editor this morning. i don't doubt that i have forgotten to add someone's blog or a favorite link. if you notice your blog used to be in my "friend" or "funny bone" list and isn't there anymore, please let me know!

potty poll

do you count the squares of toilet paper when you use the bathroom? as in, "i use 3 to 4 squares of tp per wipe"? personally, i just grab a wad. the captain says it's not weird to count squares.

i don't get it

i broke down and joined the masses. my new ipod arrived yesterday, and it may be the final blow to my sanity.

i worked with macs constantly for years back in my software days. my macbook has been good to me so far. why oh why am i having such a hard time with this little tool from satan?

all i want is to listen to some mp3s. i set up the ipod on the macbook. great. i could download music, movies and the exact addresses of major celebrities. okay, maybe not. anyway, i could do just about everything except put my mp3's on it. they would not copy onto the ipod. i kept getting some stupid alert that said "this cannot be copied onto your ipod." uh...why not? thank you for more of the same, mr. gates.

so now, i am trying to download the software, itunes onto my windows pc to see if i have any luck there. i did figure out that i needed to change a setting to allow "manual installation" of things. notice i said that i am trying to download the software. this is my third attempt. it keeps stopping mid-install, saying i do not have enough privileges to stop services. wtf? i don't want to stop the service - i'm trying to start it, for goodness sake!

so...anyone want to buy a slightly used ipod? when i say slightly, i mean that it's only been thrown across the room 3 times - probably minute compared to most.

help!

why is the sidebar so far down on my blog all of a sudden? any insight would be appreciated!