The Great Muffin Debate

Hello? Anybody here besides the crickets? I think maybe even the insects of the night have given up on my blog! But it's still here...barely breathing. I actually do get ideas and urges to write all the time. Of course when I do, I'm in a public restroom, in the car or elsewhere with no access to pen and paper, computer or handheld device. (Actually I have been known to hog toilet stalls to type out texts and notes to myself, but I'm trying to show you how pathetic I am, not how I tend to be a space ranger). I don't know if it's all the pot I'm smoking, but for the last few years my memory has just sucked.

ANYWAY...I woke up early (again) this morning [what is it with insomnia??] and decided to read something deep and serious to get my mind going. As I flipped through the pages of The Fountainhead a fashion magazine, I started to giggle hysterically at how advertisers are spinning some of their products to appeal to 5 year-old pageant contestants and their parents the general public.

I'll give you an example. I think most Americans are familiar with "English Muffins." I'm not sure how they got their name, as they don't speak English and are definitely not muffins. I don't see no banana nut or blueberry in them. Maybe bran, but - ugh! Anyway, I digress. I turned my stimulating magazine page to find an ad for POPULAR BRAND "Deli Flats."

If I hadn't cleverly foreshadowed with the English muffin hint, all of you would be like, "WTF is that? Lunch meat? Shoes? Shoes made of lunch meat?" No, dear crickets - "Deli Flats" are basically skinny English muffins (like they need to take away more of the bread), pre-cut for your sandwiching needs. I am going to go the extra mile for you here Jiminy, since I write here so sparsely, and educate you about the price difference for less bread in larger packaging (aforementioned "Deli Flats") vs. NAME BRAND English muffins.

On the same website, POPULAR brand English muffins (6 ct. 12 oz pkg) cost $2.39 while an 8 ct. 12oz. package of "Deli Flats" sell for $6.50. However, I completely understand the cost difference when I look at the "user reviews." The "Deli Flats" received 4.5/5 stars while the English muffins only got 4/5. My own point has turned against me in this unexpected research finding! Not only do the "Deli Flats" rate 1/2 star more than the English muffins, but the packaging is so pretty!

I'm so sorry to mislead you, my little friends. Go forth and indulge in some "Deli Flats." Maybe put some shit on them and make them into sandwiches (I don't mean shit as in feces, of course, unless that's your thing). I hang my head in shame. Maybe I can finish my Ayn Rand magazine before I have to get up and shamefully face my day.

Dammit...now I'm getting the urge to make shoes out of ham...

Tweet Tweet

I participate on Twitter. I think it's pretty fun to see what my friends are up to. Of course I could get the same info on FaceBook. But then I have some friends who are on one or the other, but not both.

I looked into adding a Twitter application on my FaceBook page so that I would only have to update once and it would go to both places. But I'd have to unlock my Twitter profile so that anyone could follow me.

I really don't want a bunch of strangers reading my updates. Apparently the cool thing to do is to have thousands of followers. I just don't see the attraction unless you are a celebrity or trying to build some kind of following. 

What am I missing here?

Avoidance Behavior

Bubba's Sis is playing this fun game and I decided to play along! Here's how you do it: Tell me by leaving a comment on this post, and I will assign you a letter. Then post ten things you love that begin with your assigned letter on your blog. Explain the rules with your ten things and when others comment requesting a letter, assign one to them; thus, the chain continues.

I got assigned the letter "C". So, instead of finishing the exam I was writing, here are 10 things I love that begin with "C":

1. My Child!
2. Chocolate - DUH!
   
3. Cats - I've loved them since I was a little kid. I have pictures of me with my favorite toy - a stuffed kitten.
   
4. Creativity - as an only child, my creativity has sustained me though lots of lonely times.
5. Carbs - I could never stay on the Atkins Diet.
6. Chins (the Japanese kind) - our dogs are Japanese Chins and I do love them!
7. Crabs - my favorite type of seafood!
8. Cuddles - hugs from my family and friends are a necessity!
9. Cable - as much as I hate to admit it, I really do love watching TV.
10. Computers - I'm thrilled to be able to keep in touch with family and friends like this.

So, if you want to play, leave a comment and I'll assign you a letter!

Like I Need Something Else to Waste Time With...

...there's always FaceBook.

Appreciation

If you can't tell, I am pretty bored. Card courtesy of Some E Cards.

Grammar Nazi

You Scored an A

You got 10/10 questions correct. It's pretty obvious that you don't make basic grammatical errors. If anything, you're annoyed when people make simple mistakes on their blogs. As far as people with bad grammar go, you know they're only human. And it's humanity and its current condition that truly disturb you sometimes.

The It's Its There Their They're Quiz

Which Word am I?

Your Word is "Why"

You see life as complicated and intriguing. The only thing you know for sure is that you haven't figured it all out yet. You question everything and believe very little. And whatever you believe is likely to change. You are interested in theories, philosophies, and religions... even if you don't buy into any of them. You are also fascinated by how things work. You'd like to understand as much in the world as possible.

What's Your Word?

My New Toy and Other Stuff

So this is my latest obsession - the Pantech Matrix dual slider phone. After dropping my Razr in the toilet the other day, this is what replaced it. Now, I sit and text people instead of blogging...eating...sleeping...you know, the little stuff.

I don't know why I can't seem to find a middle ground with my little obsessions. I was literally afraid to get an iPhone. I think my entire social life would have become virtual with it. Not that I have a huge social life anyway, but still...

Speaking of social life, I attended Reggie's annual Christmas bash last night and had a great time! There was a really hot guy there, too. (Shhh...don't tell Shane) Go check out his blog to see what I stuffed my face with all evening. Yeah, I just went for the food. (Shhh...don't tell Reggie).

Technical Difficulties

Technology: it's part of our lives whether we like it or not. This week I like it...and don't.

After suavely dropping my cell phone in the toilet on Wednesday, I went to the cell phone store to get a replacement. The old one wasn't breathing and damn if I would be giving it mouth-to-mouth! Actually, I'm not all that upset because 1) it lived a long time, even after being dropped on the pavement multiple times; and 2) I wanted a slider phone with a full keyboard anyway. Of course it wasn't official upgrade time so I took it in the rear price-wise. But hey - this is my work phone (and I can write it off)!

In other tech news, I finally gave in and went to C*mcast (a.k.a. RetardedRipoffMutherfuckers) to get a DVR for our bedroom. I am tired of fighting Punkin for storage space on that thing. For some reason, Wizards of Hannah Montana takes up 3 times the room as House. So I got the thing home, wrestled with the cables for a while and got it all set up. I anti-climaxed as I turned it on and got the "blue screen of death." After calling "tech support" (a.k.a. the back room in an Indian deli), the "customer service representative" told me that a "technician" would be coming to my house today between 2-5pm (a.k.a. never, you stupid ass! Sit at home and wait for us! HAHAHAHAHAHA!).

It is 7:36 and nary a "technician" has been found. The "customer service representative" that I spoke to this time said that the service call was "cancelled because the customer was not home." Huh? I must have dreamed that Shane and I made sure that one of us was home all afternoon. So, our next imaginary appointment is Monday between 2-5. Makes me rethink if we really need cable...for a minute.

And Bad Mistakes...I've Made a Few...

1. Freddie Mercury's outfit

2. William Hung

3. Me posting this on my blog

I Think I am a Geek

Last night, Creech and some other friends were discussing the differences between "nerds" and "geeks." Being a pretty intellectual crowd (we could all relate to "White and Nerdy"), we were wondering which term is less of an insult. We never actually came to a conclusion, but Creech's latest post got me thinking about it again.

Dictionary.com gave me these lovely definitions:

Geek:

1. a peculiar or otherwise dislikable person, esp. one who is perceived to be overly intellectual.

2. a computer expert or enthusiast (a term of pride as self-reference, but often considered offensive when used by outsiders.)
3. a carnival performer who performs sensationally morbid or disgusting acts, as biting off the head of a live chicken.

Nerd:

1. a stupid, irritating, ineffectual, or unattractive person.

2. an intelligent but single-minded person obsessed with a nonsocial hobby or pursuit: a computer nerd.

Excepting the third definition of "Geek," I think that's where I fit. I think I am more peculiar than dislikable and have better social skills than many other geeks. Yet I don't think of myself as stupid, irritating or ineffectual. Am I wrong here??

Twitter, Twitter

Okay, I am going to try this twitter thing. If you want to "follow" me, click here.

Update from last night: Punkin came downstairs about 10 minutes later and apologized to me. It was a good talk.