Windows Should Die a Slow, Painful Death

Many of you know that I am a Mac user. I heart Macs! Unfortunately, there are still a few essential programs that only work with windows (shall we call it Big Irritating Turd Computer Hog or BITCH for short). I needed to download one of these necessary non-Mac programs this morning to take care of a client's request. Poo! Hmmm...I know! I can run a BITCH environment on my Mac!

Downloading BITCH (after paying $80) was not difficult. Activating it was a bit complicated...I had to go onto the third-party website and search my account. Then, BITCH needed a program activation key. That's OK! My husband uses BITCH on his PCs (he has 2). After interrupting his porn viewing to write down the 3,452 character key code, I typed it into the form...IT'S INVALID! OK, not a problem. I'll write down the other key code. INVALID! After banging my head against the wall a few times, I remembered my old PC that's sitting in my office, waiting for me to take a hammer to it (I am totally not kidding about this). WOW! This product key worked!

Miraculously, the program installed successfully and I was able to download the program I needed fairly easily. I did my thang and then went to print it. BITCH can't find the printer, even though I see the damn cord plugged into the computer and into the printer. Oh, right! BITCH needs a printer driver! (I'm so accustomed to the ease of the Mac, I rant and rave to no one in particular about how high maintenance BITCH is)

On the printer's website, I find the driver pretty quickly. I download it, unzip it and run it. I go back to the control panel hopefully. BITCH still can't find my printer! Arrrrrgh!!! Fine! I'll do it all manually! Of course, the model of my printer is not in the list BITCH provides, so I select a random model...and it works. Holy Mary Mother of God!! I look up at the clock. 2 hours have passed and all I have done is print one document. That's why BITCH must die a slow, painful death - much like the slow, painful hoop-jumping I have just spent my entire afternoon doing.

I'm calling the massage place.

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