Disapproving Faces

I just love the DailyOM!

--------------------------------

It is not necessarily a pleasant experience, but there will be times in our lives when we come across people who do not like us. As we know, like attracts like, so usually when they don'’t like us it is because they are not like us. Rather than taking it personally, we can let them be who they are, accepting that each of us is allowed to have different perspectives and opinions. When we give others that freedom, we claim it for ourselves as well, releasing ourselves from the need for their approval so we can devote our energy toward more rewarding pursuits.

While approval from others is a nice feeling, when we come to depend on it we may lose our way on our own path. There are those who will not like us no matter what we do, but that doesn’t mean that there is anything wrong with us. Each of us has our own filters built from our experiences over time. They may see in us something that is merely a projection of their understanding, but we have no control over the interpretations of others. The best we can do is to hope that the role we play in the script of their lives is helpful to them, and follow our own inner guidance with integrity.

As we reap the benefits of walking our perfect paths, we grow to appreciate the feeling of fully being ourselves. The need to have everyone like us will be replaced by the exhilaration of discovering that we are attracting like-minded individuals into our lives—people who like us because they understand and appreciate the truth of who we are. We free ourselves from trying to twist into shapes that will fit the spaces provided by others’ limited understanding and gain a new sense of freedom, allowing us to expand into becoming exactly who we’re meant to be. And in doing what we know to be right for us, we show others that they can do it too. Cocreating our lives with the universe and its energy of pure potential, we transcend limitations and empower ourselves to shine our unique light, fully and freely.

Why Are We so Mean to Ourselves?

Here's another goodie from the DailyOM:

----------------

One of the key components of human consciousness that most of us need to address and change is our tendency to be hard on ourselves. We do this in ways that are both overt and subtle, and half the work sometimes is recognizing that we are doing it at all. For example, if we find it difficult to graciously accept compliments, this is probably a sign that we tend to be hard on ourselves. Other ways in which we express this tendency include never feeling satisfied with a job well done, always wanting to be and do better, and getting mad at ourselves for getting sick. Getting mad at ourselves at all indicates that we need to rescue ourselves from our learned ability to be unkind to ourselves.

In essence, when we are hard on ourselves, we send our bodies the message that we are not good enough. Whenever we do this, we do damage that will need to be addressed later, and we sap our systems of much-needed energy. Being hard on ourselves is a waste of precious time and energy that we could use in positive ways. To begin to understand how this works, we can think about times when someone made us feel that we weren'’t good enough. Even just thinking about it will create an effect in our bodies that doesn’t feel good. We may be used to the feeling, but when we really tune into it, we instinctively know that it is not good for us on any level.

Like any bad habit, being hard on ourselves can be a challenging one to release, but the more we feel the burden it places on us, the more motivated we will be to change. At first, just noticing when we are doing it and how it makes us feel is enough. As our awareness increases, our innate impulse toward health and well-being will be activated, moving us out of danger and into a more positive and more natural relationship with ourselves.

Ugly Duckling Syndrome

My daughter just turned 12. Anyone who has seen her pictures knows that she is a very pretty girl. I know I am biased but I have heard that from so many people. Lately, she has been in tears almost every morning before school because she thinks she is ugly...too fat, bad hair, ugly face, braces, glasses, mean personality (these are her words).

I just had a session yesterday with a client who is having trouble communicating with her teenager and I think I will take my own advice: let her vent and make sure that she knows that I am here for her, then step back until she asks me for advice or an opinion. I used to force my point of view on her - that she is beautiful - but of course that didn't make her feel any better because, "You have to say that! You're my mom!"

She's comparing herself to her friends constantly. One of them is Chinese and very slender with that gorgeous Asian hair; one is Indian and a vegetarian, so she is very slender as well; her BFF is an early bloomer and has many of the attributes that my kiddo is longing for. She told me this morning that she wanted me to keep her home from school until she has her growth spurt, etc. - then she will go back. Yeah, right.

So I called my mom and asked her to drop some pictures of me as an awkward pre-teen in the mail. I was definitely fat by every definition of the word. I had braces and a bad perm that looked like an afro. I distinctly remember the popular girls telling me, "You have such a pretty face." UGH!!

I'm not sure if seeing those pics will have the desired effect, but I am really hoping so. The kiddo has always told me how pretty I am. I want to show her that I wasn't always so confident in my looks (and for good reason), but as time went by, I changed and grew into my own...and she will too.

Family Fears

The OM is just cranking out some great articles lately!

-------------------------

When we really examine our fears about something, we sometimes notice that the fear we have is not based on our own experience. Often, if we trace our fear back to its source, we find that one of our parents may have handed it down to us. For example, your mother or father may have had an intense fear of lack of money, stemming from their own life experiences. If that fear was not resolved by the time you came into the picture, chances are you inherited it. Meanwhile, you may have no actual experience of lacking money, so being fearful doesn’t make sense, and it may even block you from doing certain things you want to do.

Keeping in mind that your parents were only trying to protect you, and that most of the errors in judgment they made were made with the best intentions, it might be time to release this fear symbolically. You cannot resolve someone else’s fear for them, but you can decide to let go of it on your own behalf. Whether your parents are still alive or not, it is best to do this in a symbolic way, using visualization and, if you like, ritual. One simple visualization involves inviting your parent to sit across from you in your heart space and sharing your desire to move on from this fear, letting them know that you will not carry it anymore. You may be surprised at the response you get, because it’s possible they will be proud of you, grateful, and proud of your courage.

The more we do this deep inner work with our fears, the better we will be able to parent our own children without burdening them with fears that don’t belong to them. Some of us will do as much of this work as we can before we become parents, while others will be working on this even as our children become adults. Either way, the effects will be felt, because once we break our ties to the fears of the past, our children’s ties to those fears are greatly weakened, so it’s important to remember that it’s never too late.

Compulsive Apologies

Here's another great DailyOM!

-----------------------

Many people suffer with the tendency to apologize all the time, chronically, for everything. On the one hand, apologizing is a social convention that keeps interactions between people polite, and in that way it can be very helpful. On the other hand, if we find ourselves apologizing for everything, it might be time to look at why we feel compelled to say “I’m sorry” so often. Ultimately, saying you’re sorry is saying that you are responsible for something that has gone wrong in the situation. Whether it’s negotiating a parking spot, moving through the aisles of the supermarket, or reaching for what you want, there are times when sorry is the right thing to say. But there are other times when “excuse me” is more accurate.

Sometimes saying you’re sorry is like saying that the other person in the equation has more of a right to be here than you do. Of course, it’s true that using the word sorry can simply be an innocuous way of defusing tension. However, if you find that you say sorry all the time, you might want to look a little deeper and see where in your psyche that might be coming from. If it’s a pattern, breaking it may simply take some awareness and practice.

The first step is observing yourself each time you say it, without being hard on yourself about it. Throughout your day simply notice when you apologize. At first, you might be surprised to see that you do it even more than you first realized. After a day or two of simply observing, try to tune in to what it is you are feeling right before you say it. You might be feeling threatened, embarrassed, intensely anxious, or a variety of other feelings. Over time, try to stop yourself before the words come out and just be with the feeling that’s there. You may recognize it as one from your childhood, one that’s been with you for a long time. The more you are able to see it, the freer you will be not to be sorry all the time.

Stuck!

Here's another great DailyOM:

-------------------

One of the hardest things in life is feeling stuck in a situation that we don’t like and want to change. We may have exhausted ourselves trying to figure out how to make change, and we may even have given up. However, each day offers us an opportunity to renew our resolve and to declare to the universe that we are ready for change. We may even say out loud that we have tried and struggled and have not found a way, but that we are open to help, and that we intend to keep working to create change for ourselves. Making this declaration to the universe, and to ourselves, may be just the remedy for the stagnation we are experiencing. And, it can be done today, right now.

It is difficult to understand, even with hindsight, how the choices we have made have added up to our current situation, but it is a good idea to examine the story we tell ourselves. If we tend to regard ourselves as having failed, this will block our ability to allow ourselves to succeed. We have the power to change the story we tell ourselves by acknowledging that in the past, we did our best, and we exhibited many positive qualities, and had many fine moments on our path to the present moment. We can also recognize that we have learned from our experiences, and that this will help us with our current choices.

When we do this kind of work on how we view our past self, we make it possible for the future to be based on a positive self-assessment. This inner shift may allow us to get out of the cycle we’ve been in that’s been keeping us stuck. Now we can declare our intentions to the universe, knowing that we have done the inner work necessary to allow our lives to change. Allow today to be the day to end cycles and enter into a new way of being.

The Great Muffin Debate

Hello? Anybody here besides the crickets? I think maybe even the insects of the night have given up on my blog! But it's still here...barely breathing. I actually do get ideas and urges to write all the time. Of course when I do, I'm in a public restroom, in the car or elsewhere with no access to pen and paper, computer or handheld device. (Actually I have been known to hog toilet stalls to type out texts and notes to myself, but I'm trying to show you how pathetic I am, not how I tend to be a space ranger). I don't know if it's all the pot I'm smoking, but for the last few years my memory has just sucked.

ANYWAY...I woke up early (again) this morning [what is it with insomnia??] and decided to read something deep and serious to get my mind going. As I flipped through the pages of The Fountainhead a fashion magazine, I started to giggle hysterically at how advertisers are spinning some of their products to appeal to 5 year-old pageant contestants and their parents the general public.

I'll give you an example. I think most Americans are familiar with "English Muffins." I'm not sure how they got their name, as they don't speak English and are definitely not muffins. I don't see no banana nut or blueberry in them. Maybe bran, but - ugh! Anyway, I digress. I turned my stimulating magazine page to find an ad for POPULAR BRAND "Deli Flats."

If I hadn't cleverly foreshadowed with the English muffin hint, all of you would be like, "WTF is that? Lunch meat? Shoes? Shoes made of lunch meat?" No, dear crickets - "Deli Flats" are basically skinny English muffins (like they need to take away more of the bread), pre-cut for your sandwiching needs. I am going to go the extra mile for you here Jiminy, since I write here so sparsely, and educate you about the price difference for less bread in larger packaging (aforementioned "Deli Flats") vs. NAME BRAND English muffins.

On the same website, POPULAR brand English muffins (6 ct. 12 oz pkg) cost $2.39 while an 8 ct. 12oz. package of "Deli Flats" sell for $6.50. However, I completely understand the cost difference when I look at the "user reviews." The "Deli Flats" received 4.5/5 stars while the English muffins only got 4/5. My own point has turned against me in this unexpected research finding! Not only do the "Deli Flats" rate 1/2 star more than the English muffins, but the packaging is so pretty!

I'm so sorry to mislead you, my little friends. Go forth and indulge in some "Deli Flats." Maybe put some shit on them and make them into sandwiches (I don't mean shit as in feces, of course, unless that's your thing). I hang my head in shame. Maybe I can finish my Ayn Rand magazine before I have to get up and shamefully face my day.

Dammit...now I'm getting the urge to make shoes out of ham...

Growing Pains

Another great OM!

---------------------

It can be very challenging to maintain a positive attitude and a measure of faith when you are in the midst of difficult times. This is partly because we tend to think that if the universe loves us we will experience that love in the form of positive circumstances. However, we are like children, and the universe is our wise mother who knows what our souls need to thrive better than we do. Just as a young child does not benefit from getting everything she wants, we also benefit from times of constriction and difficulty to help us grow and learn. If we keep this in mind, and continue to trust that we are loved even when things are hard, it helps us bear the difficult time with grace.

This period of time in history is full of difficulty for a lot of human beings, and you may feel less alone knowing you are not being singled out. There are extreme energy changes pulsing through the universe at every level and, of course, we are all part of the growing process and the growing pains. It helps if we remember that life is one phase after another and that this difficult time will inevitably give way to something new and different. When we feel overwhelmed we can comfort ourselves with the wise saying: This too shall pass.

At the same time, if you truly feel that nothing is going right for you, it’s never a bad idea to examine your life and see if there are some changes you can make to alleviate some of the difficulty. Gently and compassionately exploring the areas giving you the most trouble may reveal things you are holding onto and need to release: unprocessed emotions, unresolved transitions, or negative ways of looking at yourself or reality. As you take responsibility for the things you can change, you can more easily surrender to the things you can’t, remembering all the while that this phase will, without doubt, give way to another.

Self-Compassion

Yet another fabulous DailyOM:

----------------

During those times when our lives are filled with what seems to be constant change and growth, it is important to remember that we need to be gentle with ourselves. Since it can be easy to use our energy to keep up with the momentum of our lives, we may not be aware of the fact that we are much more likely to run ourselves down. When things seem to be moving quickly, it is especially essential that we make a point to slow down and be gentle with ourselves.

It might be difficult to notice what is happening to us for we may be so caught up in the whirlwind of our lives that we lose sight of the direction in which things are heading. Being gentle with ourselves doesn’t mean that we don’t accomplish things. Instead it means that we honor ourselves on an ongoing basis and take care of the needs of our bodies.

This means different things to different people. For instance, it could mean having a session with a healer; taking a remedy, herbs, or vitamins; or getting extra sleep. Putting our energy into ourselves in this way helps create space for a more positive, loving, and accepting view of our lives. By setting the intention to do so, we will be more cognizant of our energy levels on a daily basis and more able to replenish them as needed.

The more we are able to treat our bodies with gentleness, the more tenderness and compassion we will call forth into our lives. Learning to understand and pay attention to what our self needs will in turn allow us to fill our lives with unlimited loving and healing energy and to truly take care of the things that mean the most to us.

Labels

Here's another great DailyOM!

-------------------

We live in a culture that uses labels as a means of understanding the world and the people living in it. As a result, many of us find ourselves laboring under a label that has a negative connotation. Unless we can find a way to see the good in such a label, we may feel burdened by an idea of ourselves that is not accurate. It is important to remember that almost nothing in this world is all good or all bad, and most everything is a complex mixture of gifts and challenges. In addition, different cultures revere certain qualities over others, but this does not mean that these qualities are inherently good or bad. For example, a culture that elevates outgoing behavior will label an introvert in a negative way, calling them antisocial. In truth, the ability to spend time alone is one that most great artists, mystics, and visionaries share. Owning the positive side of this label can lead us deeper into our gifted visions and fertile imaginations.

When we look into the lives of any of the great people in history, we always find that they had quirks and eccentricities that earned them less than ideal labels from the societies in which they lived. Many famous artists and musicians were considered to be isolated loners or disruptive troublemakers, or sometimes both, yet these people altered history and contributed to the world an original vision or advances in our understanding of the universe. If we can remember this as we examine our own selves and the labels people use to describe us, we find that there is a bright side to any characterization.

If you have been labeled, remember that all you have to do to see the positive side is to turn the label around. For example, you may be considered to be overly emotional, and the fact that you are perceived this way may make you feel out of control. But notice, too, the gifts of being able to feel and express your emotions, even in a world that doesn’t always encourage that. You might begin to see yourself as brave and open-hearted enough to stay alive to your feelings. You may also see that there are certain paths and professions in which this is a necessary ability. As you turn your label around, the light of your true nature shines to guide you on your way.

Peak Experiences

So I sat front row at the Rush concert last night. No, not front row as in "Row A" but front row as in Pit Row 1, Seat 1. This was a huge checkmark off my Bucket List. Been a big fan since I was 15...I'll be 40 next year - you do the math. Yes, it was amazing, life-altering, indescribable, new happy place making. But as usual, I have to analyze it to death.

As anyone who has been a fan of a TV show or movie, we get to feel like friends to these folks. We get to know their eccentricities, senses of humor and a bit of their personal lives. I'm sure they don't really dig that kind of stuff, but hey - we're human. So I wore my "All Hail King Lerxst" shirt (guitarist's nickname as we were sitting near him) and got my 2 or 3 smiles and a thumbs up. I was disappointed not to get a shirt that was being tossed or a drum stick that was being handed out, but I have absolutely no reason to complain. It's the anti-climax that is really bumming me out.

I guess that's the thing about events. They pass so quickly. And with the "holy trinity" in their 50's, who knows if I'll get another chance to see them again? I'm sitting here trying to come up with my point, but nothing cogent is coming to me. So I'll say this: last night was the second best night of my life after the birth of my baby. My wedding was great and all but I don't like the spotlight all that much. So yes - I am happy. I hope it lasts. And I hope all of you reading have either had or will have such a moment in your lives. I really do.

Obligations and Boundaries

Here's another great DailyOM:

-------------------

We all encounter obligations in life, from spending time with family and friends to being present at important functions in the lives of the people who form our community. Many times, the obligations are actually fun and fulfilling, and we want to be there. At the same time, we all sometimes experience resistance to meeting these obligations, especially when they pile up all at once and we begin to feel exhausted, longing for nothing so much as a quiet evening at home. At times like these, we may want to say no but feel too guilty at the idea of not being there. Still, our primary obligation is to take care of ourselves, and if saying no to someone else is what we have to do, then we do not need to feel bad about it.

There is a skill to balancing our obligations, and it starts with simply becoming aware of our schedule. We may notice that three invitations have arisen in one weekend, and we know that we will pay energetically if we attempt to fulfill all three. At this point, we can take the time to weigh the repercussions of not going to each event, considering how we will feel if we miss it and how our absence might affect other people. Most of the time, it will be clear which obligation we can most easily let go and which one we simply can’t miss. Sometimes we have to miss something really important to us, and that can be painful for everyone concerned. At times like this, reaching out with a phone call, a thoughtful card, or a gift lets people know that you are there in spirit and that your absence is by no means a result of you not caring.

Meeting our obligations to others is an important part of being human and not one to take lightly. At the same time, we cannot meet every obligation without neglecting our primary duty to take care of ourselves. We can navigate this quandary by being conscious of what we choose to do and not do and by finding concrete ways to extend our caring when we are not able to be there in person.

Lookin' to Score?

Being in chronic pain is more than the obvious curse of hurting all the time. It's being embarrassed by it. It's falling asleep when trying new med that makes you look like you're nodding out like some dope fiend. But I don't want to talk about it, either. Yeah you have some great new treatment that will change my life! I've done it and my bank account will show you. I've done PT, chiro, acupuncture, steroid shots, oral pain killers and anything else just short of surgery. I suppose if I could get over myself for being a 38 year old arthritic, it wouldn't be so bad. It's just not what I expected. I want to drive four-wheelers on vacation. I want to walk around the mall for a couple of hours without feeling like I'm about to break in half. Most of all, I'd like my family to trust and support me instead of me feeling like junkie down the street, waiting for my next fix. Especially when they aren't sin-free in this area either.

Days like this, I want to just say screw it. Plenty of people have it worse than I do, so if I'm gone they can have my shit. Happy freaking birthday.

Self-Healing Day

Here's another great DailyOM:

-------------------

Human beings carry within themselves the seed of healing. Our choices affect us more than we realize, and it is because of this that we tend to place responsibility for our wellness in the hands of others. As beneficial as regular visits to a healer can be, we have the power to heal ourselves at will. When we dedicate a day to the pursuit of wellness, we can relax and renew ourselves in a nourishing and comfortable environment. A sincere desire to open ourselves to the highest realities of our physical and spiritual selves is the key to self-healing so that healing energy can flow into us unimpeded.

A self-healing day should address the vital needs of the self as a whole while directing healing energy where it is needed most. Solitude is an important part of the process as is the ability to take refuge in a space that is both beautiful and peaceful. Start your healing day by setting the intention that you are dedicating this time to healing yourself. Flowers, candlelight, incense, and music can guide our focus toward a more tranquil state. For a more intense session, try listening to music through headphones since tuning out can help you tune in. It is up to us to decide what we need to do to cultivate wellness in our lives. For some, it may be time spent in reflection. Others will turn to calming activities that help them remember their purpose, such as journal writing, being in nature, or studying. Our healing may even take a more direct form as we use color, sound, or crystals to balance and ground ourselves.

Ultimately, your wholesome intentions transform what might otherwise be a simple day of rest into a day of healing. Grant yourself permission to relax and savor the stillness. If you attune yourself to the calm around you, worldly distractions will be minimized and the unadulterated flow of your consciousness will reestablish itself in the forefront of your mind. The needs of the body, the heart, and the soul will then be revealed to you, empowering you to tap into the essential healing energy of the universe. The mechanism you use to channel this energy will be dependent on your shifting requirements, so each day of healing you enjoy will be unique. All will replenish you, however, allowing you to recreate yourself in a perfect image of health.

True Freedom

Happy 4th of July, America! With all the BBQs and fireworks, we celebrate the freedom of our country. But that doesn't mean that we all, as individuals, enjoy total freedom as well. We are all bogged down with one thing or another - guilt, loss, depression, anxiety...it happens to all of us. The best that we can do is keep putting one foot in front of the other in spite of these things and see what good things life brings us. Put the guilt in your back pocket and go to that party anyway. Shelve you crazy thoughts and light that sparkler. The thoughts and the guilt will be there in the morning, should you remember to retrieve them. Immerse yourself in the moment, because you never know how many more of them you'll have in this life. Be here, now. Be alive!

Happy Independence Day!

BP Spills Coffee...

Which Pole Are We Going to Today?

I talk to my mom every week. She lives about 90 miles away from me, which is a good distance. It's not right next door, but it's not out of the question to visit her. Mainly we talk about finances, as I take care of her bills and Social Security for her since she is not able to due to her Bipolar Disorder.

Most of the time, our phone conversations are pretty productive. Over the years, we have established a deeper respect for one another than we ever had when I was a kid. Her disorder has been well managed, and though her health isn't that great, she's able to still live independently.

Every once in a while, though - probably just once or twice per year - her disorder rears its ugly head and throws me for a loop. One thing that most folks don't realize is that bipolar disorder can have a psychotic component to it. The person may hallucinate or experience delusions. Mom used to see "little men" out of the corner of her eye, but that has fallen to the wayside. She has always experienced delusions of one kind or another - usually involving someone who has been mean to her or has persecuted her in some way.

She once accused my cousin of chasing her around with a knife. One of her favorite stories was the one where my dad would beat her all the time. If you've ever met my dad, you know how ridiculous that one is. All of her neighbors would soon be "evil" and trying to make trouble with her. Lately, though, I get to be the bad guy.

When I called her this week, I could tell by her frosty voice that something was wrong. When I inquired, she proceeded to tell me how mad she was about last time we talked. Apparently, I had yelled and screamed at her, accusing her of belittling my father and just generally being a bitch to her. If you've ever met me, then you know how ridiculous that is, too.

So, what do I do? I've tried to explain to her that none of that really happened - that it was a delusion. As you can imagine, that did not go over well. I have also tried defending myself, which seems pretty futile. I've figured out that the best way to handle these situations is to just swallow my pride and apologize. Thank her for pointing these things out to me and for being able to forgive me. Yes, it tastes pretty bitter going down, but it resolves things instead of escalating them.

Anyone out there deal with a friend or relative with BPD? Or maybe you have it yourself? I'm just curious as to how others handle situations like these. I am always looking for new and more effective ideas.

Until then, you can find me in my room with egg on my face.

Are You My Mommy?

You've probably read, at some point in your life, the popular children's book, Are You My Mother? Well, here's a twist on it, from our new kitten, Dory's, perspective:

---------------------

Dory was playing in the field with her mommy one day when it started to rain. Mommy grabbed her by the scruff of her neck and ran across the road to higher ground. The car noises were very scary, so Mommy ran off under a fence.

Dory was very scared, too. But she wanted to find her mommy! She tiptoed up the road, where she found Izzy Boo. "Are you my mommy?" Dory asked Izzy Boo. The dog looked at her and said, "No. I am not your mommy. I am a goat-dog! But if you want to climb all over me, that's cool." Dory climbed Izzy Boo, but she still wanted to find her mommy, so she walked on.

She soon came across Nemo, the cat-dog. "Are you my mommy?' Dory asked Nemo. Nemo ran away screaming, totally freaked out. Dory chased him until he got too tired to run anymore. Then he let her play with his tail. "OK, go away," said Nemo. "I am not your mom!"

Dory had spent a lot of time climbing Izzy Boo the goat-dog and chasing Nemo the cat-dog. She decided to lie down for a while before looking for her mommy again.

After her nap, Dory decided to keep searching. She came upon Squeakers and Sassy, the big, fat, old, lazy cats. "Are either of you my mommy?" Dory asked them.

Dory took that as a "no." and ran on. She was getting very tired and started thinking that she would never find her mommy. Just when she was about to give up and go cry in a corner, she came upon Punkin the girl. "Are you my mommy?" Dory asked Punkin. "Yes! Yes I am your mommy!" she said. Dory was so happy she did a somersault right where she was! Punkin picked Dory up and cuddled her. Dory purred. She would never be alone again.

THE END

Information Overload

Here's another great DailyOM:
----------------

Living in an information age, it is easy to become overwhelmed by the constant influx of scientific studies, breaking news, and even spiritual revelations that fill our bookshelves, radio waves, and in-boxes. No sooner have we decided what to eat or how to think about the universe than a new study or book comes out confounding our well-researched opinion. After a while, we may be tempted to dismiss or ignore new information in the interest of stabilizing our point of view, and this is understandable. Rather than closing down, we might try instead to remain open by allowing our intuition to guide us.

For example, contradictory studies concerning foods that are good for you and foods that are bad for you are plentiful. At a certain point, though, we can feel for ourselves whether coffee or tomatoes are good for us or not. The answer is different for each individual, and this is something that a scientific study can’t quite account for. All we can do is take in the information and process it through our own systems of understanding. In the end, only we can decide what information, ideas, and concepts we will integrate. Remaining open allows us to continually change and shift by checking in with ourselves as we learn new information. It keeps us flexible and alert, and while it can feel a bit like being thrown off balance all the time, this openness is essential to the process of growth and expansion.

Perhaps the key is realizing that we are not going to finally get to some stable place of having it all figured out. Throughout our lives we will go through the processes of opening to new information, integrating it, and stabilizing our worldview. No sooner will we have reached some kind of stability than it will be time to open again to new information, which is inherently destabilizing. If we see ourselves as surfers riding the incoming waves of information and inspiration, always open and willing to attune ourselves to the next shift, we will see how blessed we are to have this opportunity to play on the waves and, most of all, to enjoy the ride.

Early Mothers Day Gift

This Mother’s Day, An Extra Gift For New Mothers
New Federal Law to Combat Postpartum Depression

To interview experts on mental health policy and practice, contact Meena Dayak at 202.684.7457 or MeenaD@thenationalcouncil.org

(Washington, DC, May 7, 2010)—The National Council for Community Behavioral Healthcare commends U.S. Senator Robert Menendez (D-NJ) and Rep. Bobby Rush (D-IL) for championing the fight against postpartum depression by authoring the Melanie Blocker Stokes MOTHERS Act, signed into law as part of health insurance reform. After a five year fight to educate lawmakers and get it passed, this new law will begin in earnest the federal effort to combat postpartum depression.

The MOTHERS Act will establish a comprehensive federal commitment to combating postpartum depression through new research, education initiatives and support programs.

Under the new law, local community organizations, hospitals or even state or local governments can apply for grants to provide education and services for the diagnosis and management of postpartum depression. The grants could also be used to provide education about postpartum conditions to promote earlier diagnosis and treatment. For instance, if the recipient is a medical facility, the grants could be used to educate new mothers and family members about postpartum depression before new mothers leave the health facility.

Health insurance reform law also requires that all new insurance plans cover comprehensive women’s preventive care and screenings.

A primer on the MOTHERS Act and answers to frequently asked questions about postpartum depression are available on Sen. Menendez’s website.

To locate a community mental health service provider in your area, visit www.TheNationalCouncil.org and use the “Find a Provider” feature on the right sidebar.

Happy Mother’s Day!
The National Council for Community Behavioral Healthcare is a not-for-profit, association of 1,700 behavioral healthcare organizations that provide treatment and rehabilitation for mental illnesses and addictions disorders to nearly six million adults, children and families in communities across the country. The National Council and its members bear testimony to the fact that medical, social, psychological, and rehabilitation services offered in community settings help