a tornado of thoughts

yes, the time is right. i have been up since 3:30 with thoughts spinning in my head. I did the usual - muscle relaxation, prayer meditation - but I just have too much on my mind. this is finals week. i worked my butt off yesterday grading things to get my final grades in. mission accomplished. now, these gigantuan "portfolios" hang over my head. they are supposed to contain basically every piece of paper i handed out, every source of information i used, every test i gave and examples of exceptional student work - all labeled as exhibits and put in a folder with a complete table of contents. did i ever mention that the work that this job entails is so not commesurate with how much i get paid?? other professors keep reassuring me that next semester will be a breeze now that i have all my materials together. if it's not, i may not stay on in the fall. anyway, the good news is that i have half of one portfolio done (15 chapters). but i still have the big one to go (25 chapters). yes, i could have complied it as i went along in the semester. i don't know how i would have had the time, but it was an option that i didn't choose.

then there's my trip to new york. i am looking forward to it, but it's going to be brutal. i fly out of here at 10am, but don't arrive in new york until 4pm (i gain an hour on the flight). the show's producers booked me on a flight with a plane change in atlanta. i hate that. then, the next day, i will be flying home after the taping and not getting in until 8:45pm! so i am wondering if i should invest in another night at the hotel, just to be nice to myself. can we afford it? will captain crotch agree? will i get bored being by myself? will i be back in time for punkin's holiday program? ugh.

i don't mean to complain - i am really blessed in my life. but this stuff is what has kept me up since 3:30am. diet coke at 5:30am is yummy. just thought i'd mention that.