my new invention

i just happen to be in a state of health that requires me to utilize feminine hygiene products, much to my joy and excitement (it's called sarcasm people). i was throwing away the paper backing to an oblong cotton absorbent product that sticks to one's underwear when i noticed the writing on the paper. it said "tips for life." wow! tips for life! and i am privileged enough to be able to read these ancient secrets because i pay attention to my trash. much to my chagrin, the said "tips," while ancient, were definitely not secrets. drink 8 glasses of water per day, exercise, yada, yada. but then a thought occurred to me (which i have to get excited about because things like that don't happen very often). why not put fortunes on the backs of maxi pads? why make all the effort to go out for chinese when you can just walk to the tampon cabinet? and just think how you could mess with people - god of fertility say that this is not real period. you pregnant. HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA!! I'd better go...the orderlies are calling me.