what if...

yesterday, i got a lot done for one of the classes i am teaching. i still have a long way to go, but i feel better having made a dent in it, at least. teaching and preparing to teach has the potential to be incredibly boring. i just thank God that these are subjects that are very interesting to me!

i also started the whole worrying thing yesterday. "what if i don't get any clients?" "why hasn't anyone called yet?" i had to step back and get real. i used to talk about problematic thinking patterns to my clients. one of them is called "unrealistic expectations." like expecting to have clients on my schedule 4 days after i started advertising. i know that eventually, someone will call. and the worst-case scenario isn't that bad - no one calls, i can't afford to stay in business, i go work for another agency. who knows? maybe i'll like teaching so much that i'll go into it full-time.

anyway, i am getting all wound up again just typing this. i need to stay in the present. the future is not, and never will be, up to me.