7.13.2007

Reason vs. Excuse

My mom called this morning to tell me that my grandfather (her dad) has passed away. I didn't really know him, so I'm not in mourning or anything. In fact, my reaction is striking me as weird. I am feeling kind of relieved.

My grandfather was not the nicest person in the world. He was abusive to his children, and I think the abuse is partially responsible for my mother's mental illness. I have tried to work through my feelings about him in my own therapy because I felt so resentful. I kept thinking if he had not been so abusive, mom's life would have been so much better. Yeah, if only.

Since the past cannot be changed, all I have is acceptance. And in keeping with my goals of compassion toward everyone, I am glad that he is "in a better place." Obviously, he must have had a hard life if he felt so inclined to be abusive.

It's a reason, not an excuse.

1 comment:

Creechman said...

I felt the same way about my grandmother's passing ten years ago.

Terrible to be judgmental, but we are affected as we are affected.