life tips...no onions or tomatoes

i was perusing some of my old posts and found this one from 9/23/05. i made myself laugh.
i was throwing away the paper backing to an oblong cotton absorbent product that sticks to one's underwear when i noticed the writing on the paper. it said "tips for life." wow! tips for life! and i am privileged enough to be able to read these ancient secrets because i pay attention to my trash. much to my chagrin, the said "tips," while ancient, were definitely not secrets. drink 8 glasses of water per day, exercise, yada, yada. but then a thought occurred to me (which i have to get excited about because things like that don't happen very often). why not put fortunes on the backs of maxi pads? why make all the effort to go out for chinese when you can just walk to the tampon cabinet? and just think how you could mess with people - god of fertility say that this is not real period. you pregnant.


terry said...

This puts me in mind of pickled beets. Which make your urine turn red. It's quite frightening on a lot of levels.

Creechman said...

I'll have to trust you on that one.

Anonymous said...

Um, yeah. Except the fortune should appear somewhere a woman's sig-other will see it and say something like, "Don't be an idiot. It's that time again!"

- Texas T-bone