just call me eeyore

i am finally taking my own advice. i am feeling pretty down, teetering on that slippery slope that is depression. i know i have not been discharging my stress regularly and it's building up. i am at the point to where i just want to go away for a while. the thought of all these labor day barbecues and things just do not make me happy. so, i am taking tomorrow off, starting today.

i went to the gym to get some endorphin action going. i guess i feel a little better than i did before i went. i took a nice cool shower and am now sitting on my bed with my tens unit massaging the knot that is still in my back. i called a local therapist and am waiting for a return call to see about getting in.

my life is really good on the whole. it's just that punkin and i are having a hard time transitioning into this school thing and we're butting heads. that causes me a tremendous amount of guilt, though i know it's illogical. i have been firm about bedtime and the other house rules. it's been hard, but i've done it. the things that are going on in louisiana and mississippi are getting to me, too. i have to ask myself why am i trying so hard to help people when people are stealing from folks that have lost everything? i know - my clients aren't out there looting (i hope), but my faith in humanity has been shaken once again. i was paying bills this morning and saw the address to one of them was in new orleans. i wondered if the post office was even still there.

the captain and i haven't had much time together. we get up so early and go to sleep so early that we may have 30 minutes after tucking punkin in to talk and cuddle. but most of the time he gets up around 4 - 5 am and doesn't want to stay up past 9:30 or so. in the evenings, punkin is a constant presence. i need to find a babysitter. nell, are you sure you won't move to texas??

right now i am not even looking forward to the "3 day weekend" because i know it will consist of finding things to occupy punkin, even if we do go to a barbecue or two.