just one more time

my dad wasn't home a lot and didn't spend very much time with me as a child. my mother has bipolar disorder and so our home life was not what you'd call "fun". i wanted to spend time with my father so much, but our outings were few and far between. i remember going to the beach on occasion. he talked me into seeing the original "superman" movie. he took me to the drive-in to see "grease." but what i remember most is the connection i felt with him when we went to see the original star wars trilogy. i was 6 years old when "a new hope" hit the theaters. i remember talking with my dad about the movie all the way home. it was something that we finally had in common. as the movies came out, we had a daddy-daughter date. that was the one thing i could really count on with him.

when lucas re-released the trilogy with all the added pizazz, i couldn't help but become teary-eyed at the fact that my dad wasn't there with me. i know - i am sentimental. the same went for "the phantom menace", "attack of the clones" and now "revenge of the sith." when john williams' now-infamous music starts on the big screen, i get butterflies. the sentimentality has stuck with me, i suppose. it just added to my oh-so-strong reaction to the violence, treason and death of "sith."

i have always been this way, mind you. i can't watch horror flicks. not because i get scared...but when someone gets murdered, i start crying and get physically ill. some may call me a wuss. others may say that i have too much imagination. i like to think it's misplaced compassion and sentimentality. but whatever it is, this is who i am. i'm not about to change. and yes...i am planning to talk my dad into seeing "sith" with me. just one more time.