good book

i am reading a very good book. it's called how to really love your child. i usually don't read books about parenting. they just tend to confuse me. but a student wrote a book review on this one, and was kind enough to let me borrow it.

this guy makes so much sense. he talks about how if the marital relationship isn't strong and healthy, than the parent-child interactions will be handicapped. also, how your child's behavior is basically his or her way of telling you if something is wrong - specifically if they are not feeling loved. he makes a good point - you may really love your child, but the way you are or aren't expressing it is causing your child to not feel loved at all. the author describes unconditional love and how it's the ideal for parenting, though it is often elusive.

punkin has been clinging to me lately and acting frightened of every little thing. captain crotch and i never have displayed a loving relationship in front of her. it wasn't a conscious thing - we just don't really kiss or cuddle or hold hands outside of the bedroom (well, we sometimes hold hands in public). this is mostly my fault. captain crotch loves affection, even public displays as long as it isn't too risque'. i hope i am not sending the wrong message to punkin about men or marriage. i mean, i cuddle, hug and kiss her all the time! perhaps the reason she is clinging to me so much is because i am conveying the message that daddy is not for cuddling or protection. i think i will try to be more affectionate to my husband in front of my daughter and see if that makes a difference. i am sure captain crotch will be happier, and that makes it worth it right there.

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