on my mind

things are once again getting stressful. i realized today that i only have 2 weeks left at my job. i feel like i have so much to do before i leave! another part of me wonders why i care. i guess that's just the way i am.

my mom is not doing so well again. there's just got to be something about her meds that aren't quite right. i told her to quit taking everything until we see the psychiatrist on thursday morning. so i have to go pick her up tomorrow afternoon since she can't drive. i knew there was a reason we only had one child! i can't imagine dealing with even 2 kids plus my mom.

i am drifting from my spirituality again. i don't pray regularly anymore and i can't tell you the last time i read my bible. and i have noticed that things in my life haven't been as smooth as they usually are. satan must be sitting on my head because i don't feel like making the effort to change anything. in fact, i don't feel like making the effort to do much these days. i am definitely not taking care of myself.

i was listening to a cd that our pastor sends out every month to the church volunteers. it was about "self leadership" (a.k.a. taking care of yourself). he broke things down into spiritual, physical and emotional. he says when one or more of these areas gets out of balance, it can throw you into a real funk. i know my spiritual life is running on empty, but i also have not been working out (thus i feel so tired all the time and don't deal with stress so well), and have been running away from how i feel. so i would say that all three areas are reaching the red zone. but like i said, the thought of making the effort to change anything is just too much right now. what to do, what to do?