don't try to fix me...i'm not broken

i am not sleeping well. i'd like to blame it on my back, but when i wake up at 5:30am, my mind starts whirling. this morning, i was obssessing about teaching in the fall. like that's going to help. true, i haven't even created a syllabus, but i will have plenty of time after i quit my full-time job to do that. the morning before i was neurotically focused on what i am going to wear to the rush concert on saturday. i am talking down to the hairband.

there are so many changes that are about to happen. i am starting a private practice, i am giving up my steady paycheck, i am teaching a bunch of college freshmen, my carpet is being replaced. yes, you heard me. i am freaking about the carpet. well, not so much about the carpet, but about the things that are going to have to be picked up off the floor and moved. the super sad thing is - rabbit is going to be here, not me. so why am i obssessing over something that i don't even have to deal with?

i know all of these things are God things and that He doesn't give you tasks without the tools. i know this in my head. but my freakishly wired brain just doesn't get it. i think i will take a sleep aid tonight.

can't you see that she's not breathing? hello??!

No comments: