liar, liar

today, i was supposed to drive 48.5 miles (one way, according to yahoo maps) to have session #2 with my new therapist. i was initially willing to do this because my new therapist ("mnt" for convenience) is well-published and is also an international speaker on various topics, including family of origin work. so, i figured that she must know what she's talking about, not only having had years of experience working with clients like me, but also having gone through some dysfunctional family of origin issues herself. dr. mnt seemed to be "made especially for me."

during our initial appointment, some things happened (or didn't happen) that i found a bit strange. for example, mnt didn't ask me to fill out any forms whatsoever. she doesn't even know my home address or phone number! then, in session, she never really asked me to tell her about what was bothering me. in fact, she did most of the talking, mainly educating me about the different ways old anger can get triggered in the present. i interjected here and there, but my statements were totally unsolicited. finally, she advised me to get a copy of one of her books, which was something i was going to do anyway, but i had hoped that she might give me a copy. i had an amazon.com gift certificate from answering some survey, so i got it for free after all.

once the book arrived, i found it interesting that "doctor" mnt is not a doctor of philosophy in psychology. rather, she has her ph.d. in nutrition. she actually holds the exact same master of arts degree in psychology that i have. i suppose she never claimed otherwise, and even signs her emails with her first name only. but when a book on a psychological topic is written by dr. jane doe, i tend to assume that the author is a psychologist. silly me.

the book was good, and i learned a lot from it. there are exercises in the back that have been very helpful for me in processing these old feelings and memories that are popping up here and there. however, i disagree with her on some of the definitions of "abuse." i was sharing this with the captain the other evening and he saw my point as well. mnt overuses the word "abuse." it seems like basically anything your parents did to interact with you could have been abuse. girls, did your mom ever take a shower while you were putting on your make-up in the same bathroom? indirect sexual abuse! guys, did your dad ever walk around in his tidy whities while you were sitting around watching tv? indirect sexual abuse! did either of your parents ever tell you that they were disappointed in you or your behavior? that's shaming, which is emotional abuse! you get my point. it was a little over-the-top.

after much discussion and calendar examining at the finale of bizarre session #1, mnt and i set today at noon to meet for session #2. of course, in between then and now, i have read the book and had a chance to reflect on mnt's unconventional ways. i even asked my "mentor" about it, and she said that it sounds like mnt may be practicing more traditional psychoanalysis, which is rare these days because of lawsuits. if she doesn't even know my home address, she surely can't be covering her ass legally! (not that i plan on suing her, but i'm just sayin')

so, i finished up with my 10:00 client a little after 11:00. i needed to leave right then if i was going to make the appointment with mnt. i found myself picking up around the office...then i needed to use the restroom...then i realized that i forgot the directions at the house. by the time i got home to grab the map i printed, it was close to 11:20, which would make me officially late by 15 - 30 minutes, depending on traffic and the quality of the directions. obviously, i didn't want to go. so i did what any good Christian client would do: i lied. i left her a voice mail and sent her an email saying that the school had called and that i had to go pick up punkin because she was running a fever. it was a last-minute thing - it couldn't be helped, you know? punkin really does have a cold (sans fever), so somehow that's kept me from feeling too guilty. mnt responded via email basically trying to guilt-trip me; something about being in one town with her son doing a school activity and driving to the other town just for our appointment. heck, the place where her son was is closer to my house anyway!

the obvious question is: as a therapist myself, how could i do this on purpose to another therapist? well, i usually don't get quite as annoyed with my clients when they actually call to cancel versus just not showing up. it's inconvenient, yes, but the drive from my office to my house takes about 7 minutes. mnt's office is actually a garage apartment behind her house. how was i supposed to know that she was going to be in another town this morning?

anyway, before i completely drive this subject into the ground, i must tell you that i do feel bad for lying. i'm trying to keep punkin in another room just in case lightning strikes me. but i also need to decide what to do about mnt. i know i shouldn't make up my mind about her on the basis of one visit, but with gas prices so high, etc. i am hesitant to start driving 100 miles round-trip and have her turn out to be a quack. i know you are just about to explode with comments, so...what do you think?