i lied...

i figure if i am going to take the time to compose random thoughts to email out to my devoted e-pals, why not take the extra 5 minutes and post them here, too? just don't be expecting daily posts, or even weekly ones. these will truly be inspired posts only.

now, back to the show...

I was thinking this morning (don’t freak out!) that daily life is slowly starting to resemble that Arnold Swarzenegger movie, “Total Recall.” Let’s not talk about how long it took me to remember the name of the movie in the first place, ok?

For those of you who haven’t seen it, go rent it because I don’t have the energy to give you a good synopsis. Or better yet, look it up on www.imdb.com.

Anyway, Arnold is on Mars and the important things there seem to be sex, drugs, nasty language and all other things foul. People treat other people like pond scum and a lot of things are automated. Here in the good ol’ US of A, sex is everywhere! I’ve had to explain the mechanics and purpose of it to my child twice already – once when she was 5 and another time when she was 6. Why did she ask? Because even the “tame” sitcoms are obsessed with sex! She wanted to know what was so awesome about it.

She’s asked about drugs before, too, and why people take them. I had to explain the difference between medical drugs like blood pressure medicine that help keep you healthy and street drugs that make you stupid, broke, and sick. Of course this includes cigarettes. I couldn’t include alcohol without being a hypocrite, though I did touch on what happens when you drink too much alcohol. Heck, she’s seen me with a hangover.

During Christmas break we were watching, “A Christmas Story” and the part where Ralphie says, “fudge,” except that’s not what he said got her all curious. She wouldn’t let it go. At first, I resisted telling her anything, but then I decided that she should hear the word, “fuck” from me first and know what it means rather than have some school kid say it. So, I go into this big explanation of the many ways that it can be used, yada, yada. She’s totally unimpressed. But at least she knows what it means now. Not that it stops her from saying, “damn straight!” or “hell, yeah!” from time to time. What are you gonna do?

The other day, I went into Target to buy 3 things (and came out with $75 worth of crap, of course) but the first thing I noticed was their big banner as you walk in. It’s usually seasonal, but they haven’t put up their Easter one up yet for some reason. Instead, it said something like, “YOU NEED…” and then had pictures of stuff I totally DO NOT need, like wine glasses and black ceramic spoons. Can you say, “brainwash?” If they wanted to advertise stuff that people need, how about a nice picture of FOOD? WATER perhaps? I would even be happy with a nice HUG. But (as Ralphie says) fuck your black ceramic spoon! My 12-year-old quasi-tarnished silver one will do just fine, thanks.

We’re bombarded constantly with this crap. I watch as little TV as possible, only listen to CDs in my car, and only check the weather and read happynews.com on the Internet (okay, I do read some blogs, too, but if any of you start advertising something, I will stop). Yet I can’t even pick up a 12-pack of Diet Coke and a tube of Chapstick without somebody telling me that a friggin’ SPOON will make me happier. And let’s not even start about how difficult it is to get a human being on the telephone when calling a business.

This must be Mars.
----------------------------
thanks, creechman.