1.06.2006

best day ever

you know when you have a good day and you want to compare it to a previous wonderful event so that you can convey just how good the day really was? if you're married, you may use your wedding day. if you're a parent, perhaps you use the birth of one of your children. being in both the married and parent categories, i have to step back and wonder why on earth anyone would use either of these days/events as the standard to which good things must live up to in order to be considered really good.

i realize the following rationale is from my own mentally ill perspective, but think about it: your wedding day. if you're the bride, you've probably gone through months of painstaking, detail-oriented planning, numerous arguments with your mother and mother-in-law-to-be, countless sleepless nights worrying about who you forgot to invite and/or who you were forced to invite, and criticism from every person within a 50 mile radius of you that has a face. when the "big day" comes, you get to be the center of attention (which for me is not a good thing) for the entire 30 minutes that the ceremony lasts (actually ours topped out at 10 minutes - we know why people come to weddings, and it's not for the ceremony) and then get to stand around and/or dance in heels and a big, heavy dress until you either claim unmanageable horniness and run off with your new spouse or pass out from the liquor and the heat. this is your best day ever?? i think not.

let's look at our second choice: the birth of a child. without going into too much detail, think of what this day entails. lots of body fluids. tremendous pain. possibly long needles being inserted into your spine. another possibility: major abdominal surgery. a watermelon coming out of a nostril. lots of yelling, screaming and crying. idiots (probably male) with cameras. doctors sewing down there. lots of public talk about bowel movements. again - is this your best day ever??

so...if you can't use your wedding day and you can't use the day your kid(s) was/were born, what do you use? you single, non-parent types give me some ideas! or what if you have been married but you have since been divorced? or what if you were the groom and your wedding day was your best day ever because all you had to do was show up and get drunk? i need a best day ever, people!!

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

Maybe I shouldn't comment on this one b/c I am married. However, certainly my wedding day has to be one of the best days of my life for so many reasons! I could write an essay about it but who would want to read it?

Anonymous said...

I'm kind of afraid to post a comment on this one, because I don't want you to explode, but my best day would be the way you turn your head just so and make me collapse.

That's all.

StaceyG said...

Rose, you can use your wedding day. Obviously yours was better than most.

Mark, you know I wait with bated breath for comments like those...

Kambri said...

Your description sums up exactly why I will never want a "wedding day".

Anonymous said...

riding horses with friends in the woods on a beautiful
day...and not getting thrown! Can there be a better day?