my personal roller-coaster

thanks nell for your sweet comments yesterday. i promise i wasn't looking for reassurance, but i did find that it felt nice to get it.

i offer no general apologies for my behavior yesterday morning, though i did say i was sorry to punkin when she got home (and she to me). i am weaning down on my zoloft and it's just strange to feel strongly about things again. i got teary eyed reading nell's comment! i have been so walled off since i have been on my "chemical crutch." don't get me wrong - i needed an anti-depressant when i first got on it (and may still need it now, i don't know). but i think it's hurting me more now than helping. i can't reach out to the people i love emotionally when i don't feel much at all to share.

one of my former clients stopped taking the anti-depressant prescribed to him because he couldn't cry anymore. for him, crying was a very necessary part of his healing. for me, it's not thrilling to be on the verge of tears a lot, though i must say that the joys are pretty cool. there's nothing like a good, hearty laughing fit to boost the mood. and as wrong as it may be to make fun of those poor people in the picture below, i have to admit i laughed my ass off when i saw it. as larry the cable guy says, "...and bless the pygmies in africa, amen."