you gotta have faith

i've come to the conclusion that i try too hard to keep everything under control. like i have control over anything besides my own choices anyway. i have been pretty upset that i haven't gotten any new clients yet this year. then all of the questions pop into my head - what am i doing wrong? what's wrong with me? should i advertise differently? is God punishing me?

maybe He's actually trying to teach me a lesson about faith. that He can really handle my stuff for me - i just need to be at the ready. i get all down because i have fallen away a bit. i haven't been to church in a couple of weeks and my prayer life hasn't been too consistent. but i know He loves me and forgives me when i ask Him to.

on a totally unrelated note, a name popped into my head this morning and keeps coming back to me. it's the name of this guy that i went to high school (i think - it may have been jr. high) with. i didn't even really know him, but his name is unforgettable. so neckerd nickerson, if you're reading, know that i am thinking about you!