a plethora of thoughts

i command you to go visit "pull my e-finger" right now! [i pimped you for submitting a suggestion, eric - even though i didn't take it!] and thanks for your idea, too, laura!

i found out at our department meeting today that i may not have any classes to teach this semester. enrollment is way down for some reason, and the full-time faculty have to have at least 5 classes to fulfill their contracts. so i have lost one class for sure to a full-timer, may lose a second one, and then the third one doesn't have enough enrollment as of today, so it may be canceled. good thing i haven't already spent HOURS on making the syllabus and planning active learning assignments. (yes, that was sarcasm) i even started a class blog. and even though the paychecks weren't anything to write home about, at least it was something. unless my practice really starts to pick up, i may be the next fry cook at mickey d's. captain crotch says he's not worried about the money. but i think it's more than the loss of a paycheck that upsets me. i don't like not contributing to the family income. and i certainly don't like doing the housewife thing. it drives me crazy. some women may like it, but i am not one of them. we'll just have to see what God has in store for me.

back to andrea's case being overturned: people are just slamming her on every show i watch or listen to. i was listening to an a.m. talk radio show where the dj had one of the prosecution lawyers on as a guest. the dj himself called andrea "evil" and a few other choice names. it pissed me off so much. these people need to be educated, especially if they're public figures whose opinions may influence many. i couldn't get through on the phone, but here's the email i sent him:

"Hi Chris,

I only heard a portion of your show today, but that 10 minutes was enough for me. I would like to suggest that you educate yourself about psychosis and schizophrenia. Did you ever see "A Beautiful Mind" with Russell Crowe? There was a scene where one of John Nash's "visions" (which happened to be a government man in black) was about to shoot Nash's wife. To protect her, he rushed forward and ended up knocking her and their infant son to the floor. Did he mean to hurt her? No - he thought he was protecting her.

The same goes for Andrea Yates. She has schizophrenia, just like John Nash did. No one asks to get it, and no one wants it. Just put yourself in her shoes for a minute: you grew up in a home in which nothing you did was good enough. That makes you a perfectionist and also makes you pretty depressed a lot. You get through school with excellent grades and find the man you want
to marry. You have one child. Then another. And another. And yet another. And still one more. There are times when your family lived in a bus. Your husband is cold and domineering. He makes you live by a very strict interpretation of the Bible. Your friend and pastor sometimes dresses up like the devil to make a point about how you are probably going to hell. Your husband leaves you every day to take care of 5 kids mostly by yourself. Your father dies. You start hearing voices. Reality starts slipping away. Satan has indwelled you. Your children aren't developing properly because they are not perfect. You know they are going to go to hell if you don't do something. So you drown them one by one to send them to Heaven, where they can be in paradise. You call 911, fully expecting to be executed by the state. You want to die because if you die, satan will die with you. Then the world will be free of evil and you'll be with your beloved children again.

Any questions?

If you want to see some truly EVIL parents, look at the ones who beat their children on a daily basis, use them for sex toys, make them eat their own feces, or lock them in closets. Try reading "A Boy Called 'It'" and see which parent you think is more evil. Watch the NOVA program about "Genie," the little girl who was tied to a potty chair and left in a room BY HERSELF for TEN years. To me, that is real evil.

No one asks for a mental illness. But anyone can get one. Even you, Chris."

the reply? "you don't know enough about me to say those things." huh? did you even read the email? so much for getting my point across. but i did have to have the last word. i emailed him back and said, "you don't know enough about andrea to be saying the things that you are." dimwit. he's probably bashing me on the air right now. bring it on.