7.26.2004

mamma mia

i have my life back. i have my home back. i have my sanity back. my mom went home yesterday. i think if she had stayed one more day, we all would have exploded. she has good intentions, but bad judgement. we all agreed it was the best thing to do.

i was so anxious on friday and saturday. i haven't felt that way since punkin was born. it's so ironic - when punkin was a baby, all i wanted was for my mom to be with me. now, i can only take small doses of her, and she of me. i have this black cloud that has been over my head for a few days. it is starting to dissipate, but the anxiety and worry that it was made of just seems to infuse me.

i don't want to be responsible for my mother. she is harder to look after than my own child. she wants to be independent, so she doesn't listen to our advice. and since i am an only child, i can look forward to this for the rest of my life. a big part of me wants to throw up my hands, but a bigger part of me wants to see my mother stand on her own two feet and succeed. and i don't think she can do that without a little assistance.

1 comment:

terry said...

That last paragraph is quite complex, isn't it? Child/parent/child... with only the word "parent" not applying to punkin...